We’ve managed to take a lot of things that are decidedly not sexual and turn them around to make them about sex. Things like eating chocolate and cheeseburgers and drinking instant coffee.
Be that as it may, I am here to stand with actress and neuroscientist Mayim Bialik and declare once and for all that breastfeeding is not a sexual act. It just isn’t.
Did you ever notice that people who think breastfeeding is sexual are almost always people who have never actually breastfed? Tweet this!
I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
As someone who has breastfed a child, I’d like to expand upon exactly why breastfeeding has no correlation to the bedroom.
1. It hurts. A lot.
Fifty Shades of Grey aside, I generally think sex is supposed to be pleasurable. It’s supposed to feel good.
So when my son would latch on for a meal and I would simultaneously grit my teeth to get through those initial seconds of pure pain, it pretty much felt like the total opposite of sexual.
Sure, breastfeeding stopped hurting after a few weeks, but even then it didn’t feel good.
Yes, I enjoyed it because it was a chance to snuggle with my baby. I looked forward to it as bonding time, and I appreciated what it represented—my body providing vital nourishment for my child. But the physical sensation is markedly not what I would ever call sexual.
2. Sex is equal parts physical, mental, and emotional.
At least for me, getting turned on requires all three.
If I’m not thinking about sex, or if I’m not sexually attracted to the person, then it ain’t happening, you know?
It’s the very reason a certain look from my husband can affect me in a way the exact same look from a stranger never could. Because I think about my husband in that way.
And when I breastfed my son, I was never thinking about sex. Ever. Honestly, the very notion sounds bizarre to me.
3. This is what our breasts were made for.
I was surprised that one of my first symptoms of pregnancy was sore, tender breasts. I later learned that was no accident; the moment we become pregnant our breasts begin working to prepare for feeding a baby.
Because that’s what they’re there to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that breasts can serve many other purposes, including some sexual ones. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that. But at the end of the day, their number one job is to provide sustenance to little ones.
For breasts, feeding is primary. Anything else—including anything sexual—is secondary.
Looking for accurate, tried-and-true advice on breastfeeding? Check out Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding, which offers factual information and helpful tricks beyond what you’ll read anywhere else.
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image via leagun
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